Finding Balance: My Journey from Being Too Frugal to Overspending (And What I’ve Learned)
If there’s one thing I could change about myself, it would be my approach to money. It’s been a rollercoaster of extremes, swinging from being way too frugal to spending too freely. Honestly, finding financial balance sometimes feels like an impossible dream, but I’ve learned so much along the way.
Let’s chat about the struggle of balancing saving and spending, what I’ve done to work on it, and how I’m learning to give myself grace in the process.
My “Too Frugal” Phase
Looking back, I can see how this phase started. Growing up, I was very focused on saving. It wasn’t a bad thing—I always had more than I needed- but I was born very frugal. That mindset followed me into adulthood, and for a long time, I felt guilty anytime I spent money on something “unnecessary.”
My friends loved to invite me out to eat or to fun events, and while I always wanted to join in on the fun, my frugal habits made me second-guess every decision. If I did go, I’d stick to the cheapest meal on the menu, often choosing something that didn’t excite me just to save a few bucks. I’d even ride with someone else to avoid paying for gas or parking. While it was my way of staying on budget, looking back, I realize I was missing out on fully enjoying the experience—and my relationships. It wasn’t about the money so much as the mindset that I had to always be cutting corners, even when it wasn’t necessary.
While being frugal has its perks, it came with some downsides. I’d buy the cheapest version of things, only to have them break and need replacing. I skipped experiences because they seemed too “indulgent,” even if they were well within my budget.
Swinging to the Other Extreme: Overspending
After a few years of pinching every penny, something shifted. I think it was a mix of feeling more financially stable and wanting to make up for lost time. I started spending more freely—on myself, on my family, and even on things we didn’t really need.
When I finally had my daughter after trying for four long years, all my frugality went completely out the window. My husband was making more money than ever, and we were finally blessed with the baby we had dreamed of for so long. In the excitement, I went on a spending spree, buying things I never thought I’d need—like the fancy Snoo bassinet. As a first-time mom, I was bombarded with marketing tactics designed to make me believe I needed every product under the sun to be a good mom. Compounding that was the fear that we might not be able to have another child, so I spent freely, convincing myself it was okay because this was our one chance. I bought into the idea that these things would make motherhood easier, but I quickly learned that the best moments weren’t wrapped up in brand-new baby gear.
While it felt freeing at first, this phase also had its downsides. Impulse purchases left me with buyer’s remorse, and I wasn’t saving as much for the future. I realized I needed to rein things in, but without going back to feeling deprived.
The Constant Balancing Act
Finding financial balance isn’t easy. It’s like walking a tightrope between enjoying the present and preparing for the future. What I’ve learned, though, is that it is possible—you just have to be intentional.
Here are a few strategies that have helped me:
- Set a Budget That Works for You: I now create a budget that includes categories for both saving and “fun money.” Knowing I have a set amount for things like family outings or splurges makes it easier to enjoy spending without guilt.
- Ask Yourself, “Does This Align With My Values?” Before making a purchase, I take a moment to think about whether it supports what matters most to me—like family time, meaningful experiences, or long-term financial security.
- Practice Gratitude for What You Have: It’s easy to fall into the trap of wanting more, but taking stock of the blessings in my life helps me focus on what truly matters.
Insert Personal Anecdote Here:
Buying fancy products or expensive toys doesn’t slow down time—it only fills our home with more stuff. My daughter’s favorite things in life are simple and free. All she really wants is to spend quality time with her parents, preferably at the park, enjoying the outdoors. Now, before I make any purchase, I try to implement a waiting period. I ask myself, “Do I really need this? And what is the true value it will bring?” This pause gives me the chance to reflect on what truly matters and helps me make more intentional, thoughtful purchases. It’s amazing how often the answer is that we don’t need to spend a dime to make a memory.
Lessons Learned Along the Way
Here’s what I’ve discovered through all this trial and error:
- Finding financial balance is a journey. There’s no one-size-fits-all solution, and that’s okay. What worked for me five years ago might not work for me now.
- Be kind to yourself. Money decisions can be emotional, and it’s important to forgive yourself for past mistakes. The key is to learn and move forward.
Wrapping It Up
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that financial balance is all about progress, not perfection. Whether you lean toward saving or spending, finding that middle ground takes time, patience, and a little self-reflection.
What about you? Have you struggled with balancing saving and spending? I’d love to hear your thoughts! Drop your favorite tips in the comments or share this post with someone who’s navigating their own financial journey.
Here’s to finding balance, one day at a time!
